Family Affair
by Agent R
Summary: AU crossover between Highlander and the Golden Girls. The girls are expecting visitors from St. Olaf to stop by whereas Duncan, Methos and Richie think they're meeting some of Connor's female friends in Miami, and everybody's in for a shock. Hope you enjo
1. Default Chapter

Family Affair

It was a regular morning, well as regular as could be with the girls in Miami. It was going on 8:00 A.M., Blanche was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, Sophia was sitting at the table checking the obituaries to see if her bingo game was still on, it was summer and Dorothy's class had really been improving so there wasn't any summer school work for her. So she was looking for a part-time job, but she'd stayed up late into the night going through the want ads and found nothing, so she hadn't gotten up yet.

"What's for breakfast?" Sophia asked.

"Sophia, can't you smell today?" Blanche asked as she rested the bacon press in the frying pan.

"Please, I'm 83 years old, at my age it's a wonder if your nose even works to blow," Sophia said.

"Bacon, eggs, toast and oatmeal," Blanche said.

"Do these look like my real teeth to you? I wear dentures for crying out loud, I eat that stuff, they'll come out."

Dorothy came in the kitchen still in her nightgown and bathrobe, "Good morning, Blanche, Ma did you sleep well last night?"

"Not so bad," Sophia replied, "I dreamt I was back in Sicily, and there were three men looking to steal the entire village worth of salami, so they sneaked in, two of them dressed as link sausages and one, nicknamed "Tiny", as a Vienna sausage."

"I dated a guy like that once," Blanche said.

"Blanche, you've dated a man of every category, build, stereotype, and genre, why bore us with what we already know?" Dorothy asked.

"Well Dorothy, you could try to be a bit more open-minded, I do have some interesting stories you haven't heard about yet," Blanche said.

"Oh, like what, Blanche? Mr. Excellent and the busted waterbed? Donny Stone and the walk along the shore? How about Handsome Hewitt and the infamous night at the fountain?" Dorothy asked.

"She means she dated a transsexual," Sophia glanced at Dorothy before getting back to the paper.

"Ma, you're horrible…is that true, Blanche?" Dorothy asked.

Blanche squeezed her eyes shut and turned away, trying not to laugh. Just at that time, Rose came in through the kitchen door.

"Girls, you'll never believe who I got off the phone with," she said.

"And you complain about the stories I tell," Blanche said to Dorothy.

"I'll bite," Sophia looked up from the paper, "after last night I could use some simpleton enlightenment. Go ahead, Rose."

Rose seated herself at the table beside Sophia while Dorothy went over to the stove by Blanche. "Well, Big Sven called me and said that he's got some younger male relatives he's sending out here to take a tour of Miami, and see what makes it so interesting. He didn't want to have them shack up in some cheap motel with cockroaches and tramps…so they're going to be coming here for their visit!" Rose exclaimed.

"I could kill her!" Dorothy said.

"Any idea what they look like?" Sophia asked.

"Ma! What difference does it make? Rose, they can't stay here!" Dorothy said, "how am I supposed to get any peace and quiet around here with a bunch of Scandinavian idiots going on about the colorful people of St. Olaf?"

"Dorothy, it won't be so bad, we've had people from St. Olaf here before," Rose replied, "we had my mother, both my sisters, Little Sven, my cousins, those nice men from the St. Olaf Woman of the Year competition…"

"All of which turned out to be either horrible guests or made us miserable one way or the other," Dorothy said, "Rose, I can't put up with it. I have to find a job and I'm not having any luck and if I do get one I'm going to have to be able to rest at night."

"It won't be so bad, Dorothy…"

"Honey, we can hardly find room for one guest when they come here," Blanche told her, "how many people are we expecting this go around?"

"Well…Big Sven said three are coming right away, the fourth one will be along later. He has to tie up some odds and ends at his business in New York."

"New York?" Blanche asked, "I thought you said they're in St. Olaf."

"They're _from_ St. Olaf, his business is in New York, they're all very intelligent men and from what he told me, not hard to get along with. We can improvise if we have to. One of them can move into one of our rooms, we'll move in with someone else, another can take the couch and the other two can sleep on the floor," Rose said, "we used to do it all the time when we had too many overnight guests back in St. Olaf."

"You know, Dorothy, that actually makes sense," Blanche told her. "Rose, what kind of business are these men in?"

"I don't know but it must be going swell, I hear that a couple of them are really in the money."

"Allright, allright, I'm the landlord here, I'll get the final say, Rose, your dimwitted relatives can stay here," Blanche announced as she put the breakfast plates on the table.

"Oh, thank you Blanche!" Rose got up from her chair and embraced Blanche in a tight hug.

"Oh, what the hell? Who knows, these men might actually be worth the trouble," Blanche said.

"Rose, when should we be expecting them?" Dorothy asked.

"Big Sven said they should be arriving at noon today."

"Oh, allright, I guess the house won't look too bad when they come," Blanche said.

Meantime on a plane heading to Miami, in first class the passengers were sleeping, or at least trying to. In one row of seats, three men seated beside one another seemed to be resting uneasily. Finally the one on the end jabbed the middle one with his elbow.

"MacLeod, MacLeod, wake up," he said as he continued jabbing the man.

The man snorted and grunted a couple of times before sitting up right, "What is it, Adam?"

"Would you care to remind me again just why we're heading to Miami in the first place?"

"Well for one thing you were complaining about the cold weather in Paris…and second, Connor said that he knew three nice ladies who he wanted us to meet, who just so happen to take up residence in Miami. He said they would be awaiting our arrival at the airport. He spoke very highly of them."

"And I imagine he had every single one of them, what's the point? Who are these women?" the first man asked.

"He didn't give me their names, he just said they'd know us when we arrived. Trust me, he's known them for several years now. You might as well quit complaining, it's looking like a win-win situation for you, hot weather, and good women," the second man said.

The third man at the end of the row snorted and sat up looking about, "Women, where?"

"Go back to sleep, Richie," the middle man said as he turned his head.

"Where are we?" the third man asked.

"Still on the plane," the first man said.

"**Still**?" the third man repeated, "How long have we been on this plane?"

"Six hours," the first man answered, "what's the matter? Are those air-sick pills wearing off already?"

"I don't know," the third man replied, "I don't even remember taking them."

"Well providing we don't come across anything to make the flight worse than it already is, your stomach and the lavatory should be on friendly terms. Of course once we get on the ground it's a different story," the first man said.

"What could be worse than this?" the third man groaned.

"Carsickness, seasickness, we are going to Miami you know," the first man said.

"I don't get carsick," the third man said.

"Not yet at least," the first one replied, "but just wait until one of these broads starts driving."

"Oh, so we **are** going to see some ladies," the third man whistled.

"Keep your hormones down, kid, Connor recommended them," the first man said.

"Well if he knows them then they can't be too bad," the third man said.

"And what would you know about that?" the first man asked.

"This is exactly why I don't like taking you two anywhere together," the middle man complained.

"Rose, remind me again, what are the names of these men coming to my house?" Blanche asked.

"Well let's see…the oldest one's Conner, but he's not coming until later, then there's Dunksh-tein, he got hit in the head during a game of Go-whack-a-noggin so he hasn't been too much of himself lately. Then there's A'graim, he comes from the side of the family that drinks…I wouldn't trust him with the sherry though, Big Sven told me last time he got drunk he took off all his clothes and passed out in the living room, leaving his behind exposed to everyone. And then there's Richard, he's the youngest, he doesn't quite get all there is to St. Olaf, but within some time, Big Sven figures after seeing some other states he'll get how things go back home," Rose said.

"And you've never met any of these men?" Dorothy asked.

"No," Rose replied.

Sophia came out of her room and said, "Dorothy, can I talk to you?"

Dorothy glanced over at Sophia, "What is it, Ma?"

"Nothing that can wait, hurry up, I'm an old lady, my legs can turn into J-ello before you get over here," Sophia told her.

"Coming mother," Dorothy chimed in.

Dorothy followed Sophia over towards her bedroom; Sophia closed the door and went over to Dorothy. "Dorothy, why the hell do I have to sleep with you again? I always sleep with you when company comes. Why can't Blanche sleep with you?"

"Because Ma, the last time Blanche slept with me she kept me up half the night by moaning in her sleep," Dorothy said, "right before she started to scream out "Erick! Erick!""

"Allright, how about you and Rose?" Sophia asked.

"Oh no, definitely NOT Rose," Dorothy said, "she talks in her sleep all throughout the night."

"Allright, how about when these guys get here, one of them takes the bed with you, one takes the bed with me, and Blanche can sort out the other two," Sophia suggested.

"Ma!"

"Dorothy!" Blanche called, "Rose says we have to leave to get to the airport on time to get Swen's boys."

"That's Sven, you'd think by now she could get it right," Dorothy said.

"Please, by now the woman can't remember to call out the right name in bed," Sophia replied.

"Are you coming, Ma?" Dorothy asked.

"No, I'm staying here where I can hide all my valuables," Sophia said, "I don't like the idea of having four idiots with a potential capacity to kill, in my home."

"Three idiots for the time being," Dorothy said.

"Small mistake, makes no difference to me," Sophia said, "now go on, Pussy Cat, go get the losers."

"Goodbye Ma, be good while we're gone," Dorothy said.

"Give me a break, what's the worst I could do before you get back? How long could you be gone? An hour? I'll be lucky if I can get to the bathroom and get my panty hose down by that time."

"Well, here we are."

"This is the airport? I've seen better places in Japan, New Zealand, Iran, Paris, Karkoff, that I remember well…"

"Enough Adam…"

"So where're the ladies that Connor said would be meeting us here?"

"Probably still getting through the entrance to this place."

The three men looked around at all the people greeting the guests from the plane.

Blanche, Rose and Dorothy came around the corner, "I'm telling you," Rose said, "Big Sven said that they'd be here, most likely dressed in black leather and…"

"There they are," Blanche pointed, "My God, they're younger than I thought."

Rose and Dorothy looked and saw three men waiting by baggage claim, two standing near six feet tall, one with short black hair, the other with red hair. In between them a man a bit taller than they, with long black hair tied up in a metal piece. All three of them dressed in black trench coats and looking impatient.

"Well come on, girls," Rose said, "let's go welcome them to Miami."

The girls walked up to the men, Rose being the first to speak. "Welcome to Miami everyone!"

The men turned around and got a good look at the three ladies greeting them.

"Exactly what decade did Connor meet these women in?" Adam asked to MacLeod.

"Shhhhhh!"

"Nice to meet you, I guess," Richie said.

"A pleasure," Blanche said.

"Blanche!" Dorothy barked. "Hello, I'm Dorothy Zbornak, I'm sure you're going to have a wonderful time here in Florida."

"Wonderful, are we staying with you?" Adam asked.

"That's right, I'm Rose, this is Blanche, and that's Dorothy," Rose introduced them.

Adam leaned beside MacLeod and murmured in his ear, "If it's a choice between the three of them, I'll take the idiot in the blue dress and you can have the scarecrow with the beak."

"I guess the proper thing would be for us to get acquainted," Richie said, "I'm Richie Ryan. That's Adam Pierson, and that's Duncan MacLeod."

Rose whispered into Dorothy's ear, "I guess they all played a little too hard at Go-whack-a-noggin, none of them seem to be able to pronounce their names right."

"Don't worry, Rose, we'll just go with it," Dorothy cynically replied, "maybe if we act like they're their real names, nobody will notice."

"Okay-dokey, well, can we help you with your bags?" Rose asked.

"Yes you may," Adam said.

"But 'tis not necessary," MacLeod said.

But Adam seemed to have a mind of his own, he picked up his suitcase and handed it to Rose, "Here you go."

"Adam!"

"Pardon me, MacLeod, but you have your standards set with chivalry, I don't."

"Okay Rose," Blanche said, "you help these nice men with their bags, I'll go get us a taxi. I know just the driver to get, too."

Blanche scurried past them, already grabbing at her skirt to hike it up. Dorothy looked at Richie and said, "I can already see this is going to be a long, tedious...different…experience for all of us."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: It's starting to get difficult to come up with material that seems to fit in with this story, so I hope you like how this chapter turns out.

While Rose more than willing to carry Adam's suitcase, Duncan and Richie kept their baggage to themselves as the girls led them out of the airport and over to the pavement where Blanche was trying to hail a taxi.

"So uh…Dorothy is it?" Richie asked.

"Yes, that's right."

"Uh…" Richie's brain scrambled to find something to talk about, "how long you been living in Miami?"

"A few years, how long do you guys plan on staying?" Dorothy asked.

"Well we were thinking maybe a few weeks," Duncan commented, "but we 'canna be sure until Connor comes along."

"He's the one from New York?" Blanche asked as she turned around.

"No, he works in New York, he's _from_ Scotland," Duncan corrected.

Blanche leaned over to Rose and whispered, "You know Rose, I think you're right, I think they did get hit a bit too hard during go-wick-a-noodle."

"Go-whack-a-noggin," Rose corrected.

"Whatever, now they think they're from Scotland," Blanche said.

"Actually both Mac and Connor were born in Scotland," Richie commented.

"And what about you?" Blanche asked.

"I was born in Washington."

Dorothy turned towards Adam, "And you?"

"Well you might say I've been around the globe a few times, I'm not really from around here," Adam replied.

"I'm seeing that," Dorothy said, "…are you from Wales by any chance?"

Adam thought about it for a second before responding, "Yes."

"I thought so," Dorothy said, "you remind me of some students in my class."

"What's that have to do with anything?" Blanche asked Dorothy.

She turned to the girls and said, "I had seven Welsh students in my last class, all from different families and all, but they were a lot alike. I don't know, I guess sometimes some people from the same region share the same characteristics, the same traits…"

Rose chimed in, "You mean all Welsh people have big noses?"

"Rose!" the girls barked.

Adam rolled his eyes and turned the other way.

"I'm terribly sorry, Mister Pierson," Dorothy said, "our friend here was struck by lightning many years ago and it rendered her if I could be quite frank, a complete idiot."

"Don't worry, I'm used to it by now," Adam shrugged it off, "One time I had amnesia and was kept in a private institution for three weeks. I woke up one day and they put me in front of a mirror so I could get a thorough look at myself. The first thing I noticed was a thin face and a large nose."

"Can you believe it, Dorothy?" Blanche murmured, "They don't think they're from St. Olaf."

"Maybe they mean that they were originally born in different countries but they were raised in St. Olaf, did you ever think of that, Blanche?" Dorothy asked.

"Any luck getting a taxi, Blanche?" Rose asked.

"No, damn it, I don't get it, I hiked up my skirt and gave every cab driver a good look at my nice, long thin but firm thigh, and none of them stopped," Blanche pouted.

"Well at this rate we'll probably end up walking," Dorothy said, "besides, even if we could hail a taxi, we'd need two, one for us, and one for them," Dorothy pointed at the men.

"Not to worry," Richie said, "I know a surefire way to get a couple to stop."

"Really? Could you try it?" Rose asked.

"No problem," Richie handed his suitcase to Duncan, "Here, hold this for a minute."

Duncan grasped Richie's suitcase as Richie removed his trench coat, and then handed that to him as well. He then took off a black jacket and turned it inside out, making it appear as part of an officer's uniform with the dark blue interior. He then pulled an officer's hat out of his shirt and took out a whistle from his pocket and headed out into the street. There were several cars passing on the streets, particularly two cabs at the head of the line. Richie blew the whistle and held out his arm as the drivers slammed on the brakes and stopped just inches away from him.

Richie went over to one cab and knocked on the window, the driver lowered the window, "Is there a problem officer?"

"You picking up anybody?" Richie asked.

"No sir."

"Good, we got three young ladies who need a ride back to their home." Richie pulled open the back door on the cab, "Ladies…" Then he went over to the other cab and opened the door on the driver's side. "As for you, my good man, you're going to have the three of us right behind them, because as of now, I'm off duty and we guaranteed these women we'd see them home."

Duncan followed Richie over to the second cab, and Adam took his suitcase from Rose before he followed him as well. Then the girls got in the first cab and told the driver to take them to their home, while Duncan, Richie, and Adam got in the second cab and Richie assured the driver wherever the first cab went, he'd follow them.

The taxies pulled out of the girls' driveway and once again, Rose took Adam's suitcase as Dorothy opened the front door to let everyone in. "I hope you enjoy your stay here, gentlemen."

"I don't know how we can be anymore miserable than we already are," Adam murmured to Duncan.

"Shhhhhh!"

"Ma, we're back!" Dorothy called.

"Her mother's still alive?" Adam said, he then muttered to Duncan, "You don't suppose she's one of us, do you?"

"Shhhhhh!"

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to bite your tongue?" Richie asked him.

"Asking the wrong person kid, try asking me if I even remember my mother," Adam said to him.

Sophia came through the kitchen door wearing her apron, "Allright, where're the men?"

"Ma, this is Adam Pierson, Duncan MacLeod and Richie Ryan," Dorothy introduced them.

"Hello boys," Sophia looked at them, "are your mothers picking you up later?"

"Sophia, they're our guests," Blanche said.

"I thought you said we were having 'men' over, not the Outsiders," Sophia replied.

"Okay so they're a little younger than we had hoped for, but a younger man has advantages, you know?" Blanche asked.

"Yeah, they can actually stay awake all the way through the sex," Sophia replied.

"Oh Ma," Dorothy growled.

"Well gentlemen, I'm sorry but we don't really have enough rooms for you all," Blanche said, "I'm afraid one of you'll have to sleep on the couch out here."

"No problem," Adam said, "I'll take it, I'm not picky, hell, by the time you get to be my age you can't afford to be picky."

"I wish my son thought more like that," Dorothy said, "he's probably about your age, Adam, 30 years old and he still doesn't think he has to be responsible for anything."

"30 years old?" Adam repeated, "and you're comparing him to me?" Adam laughed.

"He's actually a bit younger," Duncan explained, "which would explain why he always acts like a brat."

"Wrong again MacLeod, I'm not the brat, Richie's the brat," Adam responded.

"I am NOT a brat!" Richie exclaimed as he got in Adam's face.

"Oh great, the men haven't been here ten minutes and already they're going for each other's throats," Sophia said, "this is going to be just like Sicily. I'll get started on dinner."

"Ma, it's only 2:00," Dorothy said.

"So what? I'll do anything to get away from that bickering," Sophia said as she disappeared into the kitchen.

As Adam and Richie continued arguing, Duncan tried to pull Adam away from Richie, and Rose got in between them yelling, "Allright you two, KNOCK IT OFF! Your friend didn't send you here for you to yell for the whole neighborhood to hear like a bunch of Italians…no offense Dorothy…" Rose said.

"None taken you mental pygmy," Dorothy replied.

"Now look, you cam here to see what makes Miami so great now either you behave and make the best of your stay here or you can ship out, is that clear?" Rose asked.

"Yes," the boys replied.

"Good, now, Duncan, you and Richie can take Blanche's room, she'll be sleeping with me," Rose said.

"You?" Blanche shrieked, "Why do I have to sleep with you?"

"Well Blanche you can have your pick, you can either sleep with me or you can sleep with Dorothy."

"Hello, roomy," Blanche said as she hugged Rose.

Dorothy rolled her eyes before she turned to Duncan and said, "May I show you where you'll be staying, Mister MacLeod?"

"If you like," Duncan said.

"Rose," Dorothy snapped her fingers.

Rose picked up Duncan's bags and headed to Blanche's room.

"That isn't necessary, I can…" Duncan started.

"Mister MacLeod," Dorothy started.

"Duncan…"

"Duncan, Rose is more than happy to do it, its just a little old St. Olafian hospitality," Dorothy assured him.

"Allright, Richie, follow that woman," Duncan said.

"And I'll keep a hold of my own luggage," Richie said as he picked up his bags.

Dorothy followed Rose, Duncan followed Dorothy, and Richie followed Duncan into Blanche's room, while Blanche watched them from the living room.

"Damn it," she pouted, "two young, vibrant, beautiful men staying in my room and I'm shacking up with the Minnesotan Nitwit."

Sophia carefully placed the 12-pound pan of lasagna into the oven, closed the door and looked at her watch, just as Dorothy entered the kitchen.

"Allright, we got everybody settled in, Blanche took her stuff into Rose's room, got her clothes put in the right side of Rose's closet, piled her makeup all over Rose's dresser. Duncan and Richie are going to be sharing Blanche's bed, they've got their things put away, and Adam is going to be sleeping on the couch and he'll be changing his clothes in Blanche's bathroom, and right now Rose is in her closet counting the tips she got from Duncan and Richie for her service as bellboy," Dorothy said.

"I wish I knew you were having trouble getting everybody set up, I'd have told you sooner," Sophia said.

"Told me what?" Dorothy asked.

"My friend Roxanne Torelli is having me come over to her place tonight," Sophia said.

"Why?"

"She's in the over-80 category at the police department and needs a decoy for her drug-bust, what do you think!? A bunch of us gals from bingo are getting together for a slumber party, we can stay up all night, make horrible noises after eating bad food, make prank phone calls and watch that new movie, Fatal Attraction," Sophia explained. "You can give my room to the men."

Rose came into the kitchen saying, "Well, that's taken care of, Duncan and Richie will have Blanche's bedroom, Blanche will be with me, and Adam will be on the couch."

"Honey, there's been a change of plans," Dorothy said, "Ma's going to be spending the night at a friend's house so we're going to have to help move Duncan and Richie's stuff into her bedroom for the night."

"What does that mean?" Rose asked.

"It means you're a pack mule once more," Sophia said, "but look on the bright side, these guys are young, they're polite, they gave you a $6 tip."

"$15 tip," Rose replied.

"$15…if they insist on paying, it'll be worth your time to move everything, you can demand double the tip for relocating their luggage," Sophia said.

"Really?" Rose asked.

"They're from St. Olaf, they'll believe it," Sophia said.

"Okey-dokey," Rose said, "before we move them again, I just wanted to say that I called Big Sven and told him that the boys all got here safely. And he said not to worry about them being a bit confused about who they are, it turns out they were all in Go-whack-a-noggin that afternoon. So they're bound to be confused for a while, but I told him aside from that, they were just fine. It's going to be great to have some other people from St. Olaf here with us."

"Yeah, be still my beating heart," Sophia replied dryly, "Dinner's in two hours, someone go tell the boys, I have to pack."

"Pack?" Dorothy repeated, "Ma, you're going away for one night."

"I was cleaning out my purse, so I have to put everything back, my vapor rub, my preparation H, my dental floss, my keys, some hard candy, a crossword book, some breath mints, some seasoning, Vaseline, petroleum jelly, iodine, Maalox, and my driver's license," Sophia explained.

"Your driver's license?" Rose repeated.

"How do you think I'm getting to her house? Hitching a ride? Hailing a cab? That runt Adam told me how you got back home," Sophia said, "and I sure as hell can't pass as an officer."

"Well, with my mother gone for the night, you can sleep in here and Blanche can move back to her room," Dorothy said, "I hope you're enjoying your stay in Miami so far."

"Great, just great," Richie said, "damn hot though."

"I know," Dorothy agreed, "maybe you won't be wearing your trench coats so often."

"Oh no, **that** I have to do," Richie said.

"How come?" Dorothy asked.

"It's not important," Richie replied.

"So Richie, how old are you?" Dorothy asked.

"How old are you?" Richie repeated.

Dorothy looked at Richie for a moment, not sure how to respond.

"No, actually I'm 19."

"Oh, I'm 56, actually," Dorothy said, "and how old is Duncan?"

"He's…older than both Adam and myself," Richie said.

Hell, Richie thought, as far as "Adam Pierson" is concerned, Mac's older than both of us together.

"Well, I'm sorry that you haven't really gotten around to seeing much of anything, other than Blanche's potted bathroom, but usually when you travel the first day takes a while to settle into," Dorothy said.

"Oh yeah, I know, we travel all the time," Richie said.

"Really? I didn't think you guys got around to traveling a lot," Dorothy said.

"No kidding? What'd Connor say that made you think that?" Richie asked.

"Well we didn't really talk to Conner, we talked to a friend of his, he told us you'd be coming, and Conner would be along after he gets done in New York," Dorothy said, "I guess some of you have seen a lot of the world."

"Oh yeah, if you wanna talk about that, you should really discuss it with Mac, or Adam, they can tell you a lot more about their trips than I can," Richie said.

"Maybe I will, in my last class I taught a lot of History and Geography," Dorothy said, "you know, it used to be I couldn't get my students to even listen to me in class, now they've done so well I'm out of work."

"Sorry to hear that, they let you go or something?" Richie asked.

"No, it's just that I'm a substitute teacher and now that they've gotten ahead, they don't need me in the summer school program, so now I'm looking for a new job for the time being, and I have to say it's not easy, when you get older, jobs are hard to find," Dorothy explained.

Mac sure hasn't had any trouble getting work, Richie thought.

"I'm sure you'll find something, there's always opportunity, you just have to know where to look," Richie said, "trust me, I've found it in some pretty unusual places."

"You're a good kid, Richie," Dorothy said, "I can see that you're going to make something with your life."

What's left of it anyway, he figured.

"Well, dinner's probably ready, I hope you like Italian," Dorothy said as she glanced at her watch.

"What're we having?" Richie asked.

"Lasagna, my mother made it, so if you haven't had it before, you're going to be in for a surprise, my mother makes amazing food, she claims the secret to making great lasagna is singing opera to it," Dorothy said.

"Yeah, your mother…I don't mean to be rude or anything, but is she getting Alzheimer's, or is she just plain crazy?" Richie asked.

"Nothing's been declared yet, but as far as we're concerned, it's the latter," Dorothy said, "now come on, let's eat."

Blanche came out of the kitchen and said to Adam, who was seated on the couch, "I'm sorry, Adam, but all we have is sherry, and I don't know if you'd want it."

"Eh, I'll give it a try, what's the worst that could happen?" Adam asked.

Dorothy and Richie came out of Sophia's room and into the living room, "Is Duncan still here?" Dorothy asked.

"No, he left an hour ago," Blanche said, "why?"

"No reason, is Rose still here?" Dorothy asked.

"She's out shopping to cook up some Scandinavian snacks for our friends," Blanche said.

"I hope it includes a good beer," Adam said.

"Adam!" Richie chimed in.

"You're right, at this rate I'll settle for a bad beer."

"Are you a heavy drinker, Adam?" Blanche asked.

"Only when he's conscious," Richie butted in.

At that moment, the front door came open and Rose came in with large bags of groceries in each arm, "Girls, girls, you'll never believe it, I was coming home from the market, and I saw Duncan on his way back home too, and he looked like a mess."

"He probably had a run-in with a street cleaner," Adam said, "Richie, you help these ladies get their food put away, I'll help the stain in the road when he gets in."

Dorothy took a bag from Rose, Richie took another bag and Blanche scurried them all into the kitchen, a few seconds later, Duncan came in the house panting heavily, his clothes torn, his skin flushed and his body covered with dark patches and marks.

"Well, how was the head?" Adam asked.

"Shut up!" Duncan muttered, "where are they?"

"In the kitchen, who was it?" Adam asked.

"Anthony Callahan," Duncan answered, "I'd hardly heard of him before, but he left me no choice."

Adam sniffed a couple of times, "you smell like you were burnt alive, what happened?"

"A car blew up nearby, need I say more?" Duncan asked.

"Probably not, come on, let's get you cleaned up before the women find out," Adam said as he took Duncan's hand.

"I can clean myself up thank you very much!" Duncan jerked away from Adam's grip and headed to Blanche's room.

"MacLeod," Adam called.

Duncan stopped in his tracks and looked back, "Yes, Methos?"

"You're not in there anymore, the old lady's gone for the night so you and the brat are taking her room over there," Adam gestured to Sophia's bedroom.

"Oh, okay, thank you," Duncan turned and headed in the direction of Sophia's bedroom.

"MacLeod," Adam repeated.

Again Duncan stopped and turned around, "Yes?"

"She doesn't have a bathroom, you'll have to use the one with the greenery, right back where you were heading in the first place," Adam smirked.

"One of these days, Methos," Duncan growled under his breath.

Duncan headed back to Blanche's room and shut the door, at that time, Rose came out of the kitchen, "Is Duncan okay?"

"Yes, yes, he just had an inconvenience at the post office, he fell down a machine and got pounded with the **fragile** stamping," Adam said.

"Really?" Rose asked, "It's amazing how ink from a machine can smell so much like burning skin, when he comes back out, let him know dinner's ready," Rose said as she headed back into the kitchen.

Adam drew in a long breath and exhaled in relief, so far they hadn't a clue, but Connor was going to pay for fixing them up with mortal women.


End file.
